Breast Cancer Chronicles: Finding the EASE Within Disease

Life has been busy lately, and it's been strange to get used to that pace again. Living with MBC (Metastatic Breast Cancer) means living your entire life without a solid answer to anything. Going with the flow takes on an entirely new meaning. The tides don't follow a predictable schedule, it may be high tide one minute and very low tide the next, finding your own steady footing is a challenge. But I like a challenge. In fact I've complained about them most of my life but I think deep down I actually love them. Attempting to flourish in the face of this disease is one of the biggest challenges I have faced in my life. I have changed in immeasurable ways and have been forced to not only look at my own mortality (we ALL have an expiration date), but learn to live with the knowledge that my expiration date may come a hell of a lot sooner than that of my peers. And please don't hit me back with the comment about how "I could get hit by a bus tomorrow," not only i

        It has officially been one month since my last round of chemo. Which is kind of INSANE , considering the level dis-trust I had in chemo after the first ones failed. This chemo lasted longer than my previous chemo, doubled it actually. I have now spent 9 months of my life putting a poison into my body to help eliminate the cancer that was trying to eliminate me. I'm not sure I'll ever really wrap my brain around this whole experience. Two years ago when I was first diagnosed (Stage II) I was anxious to be done. I tossed on wigs, sipped on some beer, saw my friends and tried to say that this was a "temporary stop" before I returned to my life. It's just a test of the emergency broadcast system, we will return to your regularly scheduled programming soon! But it wasn't just a stop, and it wasn't a test, turns out this  IS my life. Looking back at the person I was two years ago is strange for me now. I do not feel like her....at all. I am still me,