Breast Cancer Chronicles: Finding the EASE Within Disease

I have now had 6 1/2 rounds of this current chemotherapy. Total I have had 7 infusions, with 5 more infusions to go. Just this year. If you count it all up now I've had 14 rounds of chemotherapy. 35 rounds of radiation (breast), 1 round of radiation (brain), and 3 surgeries. Fairly aggressive for a girl who would barely go to the doctor for a sinus infection. Recently it's been hard for me to see that light at the end of the tunnel. When you have an "incurable" disease it's hard to remember that some treatments ARE temporary. Because let me assure you they do not feel temporary, at least to me they don't. Going to the doctor for infusion after infusion and not being certain for how long this treatment will work for, or how much longer you have to endure it is exhausting. Not just on the body but on the soul. Don't get me wrong I am incredibly thankful for the results I have seen so far from this chemo. This treatment is and has been working. My last

       The transition from spring to summer in Los Angeles is notorious for gray days. Many of them, all piled up neatly in a row somewhere between the beginning of May through, let's be honest if you live on the west side, maybe mid July. It is referred to mostly as 'June Gloom '  but when occurring in May I hear it most frequently called 'May Gray .'  And I LOVE a gray day. I love the fog off the ocean. I love the smell in the air that inevitably happens when this fog-or marine layer, as it is referred to out here, rolls in. It reminds me of my childhood; many days spent on Cape Cod beaches watching the Chatham fog roll in. Getting my hoodie and eating a turkey sandwich with some Cape Cod chips- SO COZY ! So, we have established I love a gray day (my bedroom has been recently painted this lovely fog gray.) What I DO NOT LOVE is living in the gray. I am HORRIBLE at it. If you don't know what I'm referring to here (because you're not a control fre