The Perfect Patient
When we are healthy we have all these ideas about what would do if.... If I get cancer I will..... But do you know what you would do if it actually happened? Honestly can you imagine the moment it happens and then everything else that follows it? I had so many preconceived notions about what I would do if , how I will act when .... And you know what? I was totally full of it. Because you can't imagine the insane fear that takes a hold of you when it actually happens. How every single time you roll over at night you hear the words, "You have cancer." And that jolt of adrenaline and fear hits you all over again. How every time someone says "but you're always so healthy," "You look really healthy," "You're too young for breast cancer," you have to swallow the lump in your throat and graciously say "thank you" or "I know, cancer doesn't care" and shrug your shoulders. How every time someone looks at you